The Beauty of Rain by Beck Jamie

Author:Beck, Jamie
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Montlake
Published: 2023-07-18T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWELVE

KRISTIN

Sunday morning, eleven days later

Livvy’s seated behind me petting her new guinea pig, Snickers, so named for his black, caramel, and white patchy fur. After considering Amy’s suggestions and reading articles about how pets help children cope with anxiety, I talked Tony into this little guy. I would’ve bought one for Amy, too, if she hadn’t ordered me to butt out of her healing process. It’s best, really. She’s doing better, so now I can redirect my energy to my family and career. “You happy, sweet pea?”

She nods, smiling at me in the rearview mirror. Surprising her with her first pet has been a big hit. Luca wasn’t as interested because he didn’t want more responsibility. Drawing that boundary around his time is something I could never have done at his age. As a reward, I promised him a game of Scrabble later.

“Can he sleep in my room?” she asks.

“Maybe on the weekends. I don’t want Snickers keeping you up on school nights.” When we pull into the garage, I turn off the ignition and open my door.

Livvy scoops Snickers from the cage and nestles him to her chest. “Wait till Daddy sees.”

He’ll smother his little princess with all the praise she requires. For all his big talk about discipline, he’s softer with her than he is with Luca. Gender discrimination in action, but since my dad was never gooey with Amy or me, I won’t rob Livvy of being the apple of Tony’s eye, especially not at this tender age.

Lately Tony and I have showered attention on the kids rather than address our disagreements. My career frustration festers like an open wound, but I haven’t raised it again. I know where he stands, and like Amy said, this is my issue to resolve. It’s my career, my goals, and my choice, not Tony’s or even Jim’s. This is no time to feel sorry for myself.

Of course, that raises the matter of the pills. I broke down and took another early last week to help me juggle the kids’ demands with drumming up new business with old clients and hunting for that “elephant.” I’m chipping away on all fronts, praying that everything will turn out well.

I duck into the back seat to undo Livvy’s child seat and then let her slide out of the car before grabbing the cage and other supplies and closing the door. Livvy skips toward the mudroom door and then bursts inside, calling out for her father. While hanging up my coat and purse, I pause and hold my stomach. It’s been queasy for twenty-four hours, probably because I haven’t taken a pill since Thursday to prove to myself that I’m not addicted. This feeling should make me want them less, but that’s not the case.

Around the bend, Tony fawns over Livvy and her rodent.

“Boy or girl?” he asks.

“Boy.”

He smiles at her. I’ve always loved his smiles—toothy, dimpled, warm—and miss being on the receiving end of them. Tony’s been deliberately low-key, giving me time while he takes over more of the housework to lighten my load.

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